Sunday, October 24, 2010
When does this end?!
Man, I have had one of the worst months mood wise ever! Long story short, my doctor says I am suffering from severe depression and anxiety. I started some medication that stopped working and switched to another. Since I started the second one, I have had a bad reaction. I have terrible nightmares that keep me awake, that is after I manage to fall asleep. I get maybe two hours of sleep a night! Then I am tired all day and don't want to do a damn thing. I just want to sleep! Needless to say, this has affected every aspect of my life. I don't get to do as much as I want to with my daughter. That is the worst thing I would have to say when she has to suffer because of me. I can't help but feel like a terrible mother. That of course adds to the depression part, and it is all a terrible never ending circle. I finally got a hold of my doctor who said I am having a bad reaction to the medicine. I have tried taking any medication to help me sleep, and changing my habits and schedule to help me sleep. I am waiting for when this all stops and I can go back to "normal". Not only is my personal life suffering, but my school work too. I finally just emailed one professor to tell them what is going on. I don't like to admit that I am not doing okay and something is wrong with me, so that was difficult. Is anyone else having the same problems??? Thanks for reading I needed to just get that out! Its midnight now and I am going to attempt to go to sleep...we'll see how this goes :(
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Heather,
ReplyDeleteyou are not alone, i can't stress that enough. I was diagnosed with anxiety panic disorder when i was 16 and agoraphobic when i was 17 (thats when your affraid to leave your "safety zone") I couldent pinpoint one cause of it all, but i can tell you that it's not easy to deal with and anxiety will come when it wants. It controls my everyday life, but i have had to work with it. I can no longer get my medicine which isnt so bad because i wouldent be able to take them forever and i've had enough of pills messing up my body anyway. You need to find an outlet, something that gets you away that you can do whenever you need it. I learned to breathe, close my eyes and "escape" in a way. I also work out every day, i've read that strenghth excersises help with anxiety. Making your body feel good helps your mind to relax. I hope you find a coping method, and make sure you do your reaseach on any pills they give you. Good luck.